Before menopause hits, we mostly think of it in terms of the physical symptoms that many of us experience. Hot flushes. Sleep disruption. Maybe a few mood swings.

What really tends to take women by surpriseis the emotional shift that sneaks up on us. Many of us start to experience perimenopause low mood which can feel like losing our sparkle, our patience, or even our sense of identity. You might still be able to function, to get things done, to show up for everyone else, but inside everything feels flatter, heavier, and harder to manage.

As women, we live extremely full lives with work, family, money, caring, and the mental load all vying for our attention. So, it’s easy to assume this is just stress, or burnout, or that you’re simply not coping.

It’s important to understand what menopause-related low mood can feel like, why it happens, how to tell when it might be something more serious, and the practical things that can genuinely help.

What does low mood in menopause feel like?

Menopause low mood doesn’t always look like crying on the sofa. Often, it’s quieter and more confusing.

Common Menopause low mood signs women describe

Feeling flat, numb, teary, or “a bit grey” for no obvious reason
Irritability and a shorter fuse, then guilt afterwards
Feeling fragile, overwhelmed, or emotionally “thin-skinned”
Loss of confidence, second-guessing yourself, imposter feelings getting louder
Feeling disconnected from what normally brings you joy
Wanting to withdraw, cancel plans, or hide a little more than usual
Brain fog or poor concentration, which can feed a sense of failure

Why low mood can feel extra scary

Low mood during perimenopause often comes with a very particular kind of self-doubt. Women often find themselves not just feeling sad, but wondering “What’s wrong with me?” or “Is this who I am now?”

This is why it is so important to understand what is going on in our bodies and where these menopause mood changes are coming from. When we don’t recognise the effect that hormones, sleep, stress, and nervous system overload are having, we’re more likely to blame our personality, our resilience, or our worth. And this can lead to that harsh inner critic going into overdrive.

Why menopause can affect mood

Low mood in perimenopause and menopause isn’t “just in your head”. It’s often the result of a few overlapping forces happening at once. Let’s take a look at everything in play.

Hormones and brain chemistry

Oestrogen doesn’t just affect reproduction. It also affects mood, motivation, stress, and emotional regulation. During perimenopause, hormones can fluctuate sharply, sometimes day to day, and that can show up as feeling more reactive or emotionally sensitive, as anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere, or as a lower baseline mood, even when life looks “fine” on paper.

That’s not to say that hormones are always to blame. But they can make women more vulnerable to dips that might previously have been easier to shrug off.

Sleep disruption during menopause

Broken sleep is one of the fastest routes to low mood. When perimenopause leaves you waking at 3am with a racing mind, it doesn’t just cause tiredness. Sleep impacts resilience and coping, concentration and memory, appetite and cravings, emotional regulation and patience. When sleep is interrupted, everything feels harder to cope with, problems feel bigger and confidence can take a hit.

Stress load and nervous system overload

Perimenopause inconveniently tends to arrive just when our lives are already overwhelming and the “life admin” is relentless. Work pressures, caring responsibilities, money worries, relationship strain, ageing parents, teenagers, and running a business can often coincide during this season of life.

When your nervous system gets stuck in survival mode for long enough, low mood is often a natural consequence. Not because you’re weak, but because your system is overloaded.

The confidence crash

The confidence crash can be really destabilising, especially for high-functioning women. When brain fog, fatigue, anxiety, or reduced motivation show up, it can feel like you’ve lost your edge. These symptoms can trigger harsh self-talk, fear of being “found out”, and withdrawing from visibility (networking, marketing, social plans). The result is a loop of avoidance and shame which ultimately deepens low mood further.

Something that is often overlooked is the grief that can accompany the low mood. Many women find themselves grieving the version of themselves who had more capacity, was more competent and had more spark.

Low mood vs depression and when to get help

It’s normal to have dips in mood during perimenopause and menopause, especially if stress levels are high and sleep is disrupted. But it can be hard to know when what you’re feeling is “low mood” and when it might be something more serious.

Sometimes depression and menopause can overlap. Menopause symptoms can trigger a mental health dip, but sometimes low mood is signalling something else entirely. It’s important to know that you don’t have to “push through” alone. If you’re noticing changes that feel new, persistent, or worrying, it’s always worth speaking to your GP or a qualified health professional to make sure that you get proper support.

The mood spiral and how to interrupt it

Menopause anxiety or low mood rarely arrives on its own. It is often accompanied by broken sleep, brain fog, anxiety, low motivation, withdrawal, and self-doubt. Things can start to spiral downwards very quickly.

Here’s a common pattern many women describe with perimenopause or menopause:

The menopause mood spiral

Your body changes
Sleep disruption, hormonal fluctuation, stress sensitivity
Your capacity drops
Less energy, more overwhelm, reduced focus
Life doesn’t slow down
Work, family, responsibilities keep coming
You start compensating
Pushing harder, people-pleasing, overworking, withdrawing
You feel worse
More tired, more anxious, lower mood
The inner story turns harsh
“Why can’t I cope?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Who am I now?”
You retreat
Less support, less movement, less joy, less connection
Mood drops further

This downward spiral is caused by a system under immense pressure and says absolutely nothing about who you are as a person. It’s important you understand that you are not failing at life.

How to interrupt it without needing “more willpower”

When you’re already feeling low, trying to make big lifestyle changes can feel impossible and may even backfire. It’s much easier to choose a few small pattern-breakers that work with your nervous system, not against it. You don’t need to solve your whole life to improve your mood. You need one small shift that makes today 5% more manageable.

Look after your body

Start with making sure your basic human needs are met so you’re not operating from a body that is under-fuelled, under-rested and over-stimulated. Stay hydrated and eat well, get outside in daylight and take in some fresh air, do some gentle movement, rest and stay away from your devices, and implement a calming evening routine to protect your sleep.

Calm your inner critic

Self-criticism can initially feel like motivation, but it usually deepens low mood. Try to reframe your negative thoughts into something more accurate and more supportive such as “My system is overloaded. I need support, not shame,” “This is hard right now, and it won’t always feel like this,” or “I can take one small step today.”

Stay connected to people

Low mood loves isolation. Staying connected doesn’t have to mean hours of deep conversation. It can be as simple as sitting near someone while you work, sending a voice note to a friend, inviting one friend over for a cup of tea. Try to find connection in a group where you don’t have to perform being “fine”. It may feel counter-intuitive, but connection is a mood stabiliser.

Choose the smallest “next right thing”

When everything feels heavy, and motivation is hard to find, aim to take one small step in the right direction. Send that one email, do that one client task, tick off that one admin job, do one 10-minute tidy or take one short walk around the block. Taking one small action feels less overwhelming and can start that momentum rolling.

A practical plan using the CARE model

When you’re feeling low, well-meaning advice can feel too vague (“prioritise self-care”) or too big (“change your whole lifestyle”). But a simple plan you can rely on when your brain feels like it’s wrapped in cotton wool and patience is paper thin is actually a lot more helpful, especially on the days when your brain feels foggy and your capacity is low.

At Menominds, we use the CARE model for exactly that reason. It gives you a steady structure to work with, without asking you to make huge changes overnight.

C = Cultivate knowledge and awareness

This is about replacing self-blame with understanding. Try tracking your mood and sleep for seven days to spot patterns.

A = Anchor with practical tools

Anchors are the small things that calm the nervous system and stop low mood running the whole show. Try slow breathing, or a short walk to anchor yourself back in your body.

R = Redesign routines and boundaries

Low mood often gets worse if you carry on as if nothing has changed. Redesigning routines and setting boundaries makes everything easier. Try to design your week around your energy, not around guilt.

E = Equip for the future

This is where you turn coping into confidence, because you can now recognise the early warning signals and you know what to do when it happens again. Try creating a one-page Mood Support Plan to keep you on track when low mood hits.

Menominds support for menopause and low mood

If prior to reading this you found yourself thinking “I should be coping better than this”, that is a sign you’ve been carrying too much, for too long, without enough support.

And that is exactly why Menominds exists. To support women who are trying to keep life and work moving while their mood, sleep, confidence, and capacity are shifting.

What Menominds helps with

At Menominds, we’ll never tell you to “just do more self-care”. Instead we focus on practical, evidence-based mental health support that includes:

understanding what’s happening to your mood (without shame or fluff)
tools for anxiety, low mood, overwhelm, and emotional spirals
building routines and boundaries that protect your energy
feeling less alone through support and community with women who understand

If you’re self-employed or leading a business

If you’re self-employed, it can be tempting to delay menopause support because everything depends on you and it can feel impossible to stop long enough to ask for help. But that’s exactly why early support matters. Mental health isn’t just a side issue. It affects your decision-making, creativity, confidence, consistency, visibility and income. Your business outcomes depend on you feeling mentally well.

If you lead an SME with employees experiencing perimenopause or menopause

If you employ a team, menopause and low mood isn’t just their problem, it’s part of workplace wellbeing too. Many women mask how they’re feeling for as long as they can, especially if they’re worried about being seen as unreliable, less capable, or “too emotional”. That means the first signs you notice might not be a disclosure, but a change in behaviour.

That might materialise as increased sickness, quieter participation, reduced confidence, more mistakes than usual, or someone withdrawing from meetings and visibility. It’s important not to interpret this as a lack of commitment.

The most helpful response is to ensure an atmosphere of psychological safety where human conversations can take place that don’t require your employee to educate you or justify their symptoms. Small adjustments like flexible start times after broken sleep, clearer prioritisation, reducing unnecessary pressure, or offering private check-ins can help protect performance and wellbeing.

Menopause mental health support at work doesn’t have to be complicated. It just requires us to respond with dignity, flexibility, and understanding.

If menopause-related low mood is affecting your day-to-day life, or that of your employees, you don’t have to push through it alone. Menominds menopause mental health support is an evidence-based approach to help women steady their mood, rebuild resilience, and feel more like themselves again.

If you’re curious, explore the menopause mental health support programme and see how we can support you with more compassion, more structure, and far less self-blame. Our expert-led programme is specifically for self-employed women, freelance women and women working in small and micro businesses with upto 250 employees.

We can also provide training for individuals or for entire teams to help build a menopause-aware, psychologically safe culture where performance and wellbeing are protected. If you’d like to talk about training for your organisation, get in touch at info@menominds.co.uk.

Important Note:

We are not clinicians and cannot diagnose depression or other mental health conditions. If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself, or you feel like you can’t keep yourself safe, seek urgent help. Contact NHS urgent services, your GP, or a crisis service such as SHOUT (text 85258 in the UK). If you’re in immediate danger, call 999.